EXETERRPG: (1 - 1300) ACEO, Lt. JG Alistair Brightwood and Physio, Lt. JG Cerise Blake

[Mark Howard]

Mission: Space was cool before it mattered

Day: 1

Stardate: 2446.04.25

(USS Exeter -Personal Quarters of Cerise Blake - ACEO, Lt. JG Alistair
Brightwood and Physio, Lt. JG Cerise Blake - 1300)

This was a conversation he didn’t want to have. For all his understanding
of philosophy and the human condition, at the end of the day Alistair
didn’t like conflict. It was easier when he didn’t have to factor other
people in his decision making. Granted he and Cerise had only been dating
for roughly five months, but at the same time, he would have hated to
squander what could have been something special.

“Hey Rise,” he said as he entered her quarters. “I know we aren’t meeting
until later, but I wanted to stop by. There is something I need to talk to
you about.”

Cerise looked up and smiled. There was a time that the very thought of
someone being able to simply stroll into her quarters would have filled her
with intense panic. Even when they first started dating, it had taken her a
lot of work to really relax, and get over the fact that ~he might come in
and see my changing, and see my scars, and run off.~ The last few months
had been a time of great personal growth.

“Okaaay…” She said, “Sounds ominous.” Cerise felt her heart sink, her mouth
drying and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Ummm, I got an offer yesterday from Starfleet Academy. They asked if I
would be willing to take a position there as a professor of Engineering and
an Adjunct professor of Philosophy.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.” Cerise smiled, happy for him, though instantly
understanding the sacrifice. “What are your thoughts?”

“I am torn, because it would mean leaving here…but maybe this could be the
one move that gets mum to start talking to me again.”

“If you’re after doing something just for that reason, then could that
create a situation where your mum was happy, but you were miserable?”

“It’s very likely. Wouldn’t be the first time that happened.” Alistair
replied.

“On the flip side, if it’s what you want to do, and it makes you happy
doing it, then do it.” She smiled.

“I enjoy teaching. And I would be good at it. But, the problem is, you
wouldn’t be there.”

Cerise blushed, gently listening to him as he opened up further.

“Its not right for me to ask you to go, what if I love it and you hate it,
and you resent me for it. It’s not right of me to just stay for you, if I
stay and we don’t work out, I’d resent you and myself for it. And the
distance thing…well it may work for Counselor Roberts and his wife. But it
may not work for us. I always knew I’d end up at the academy some day….I
just never accounted for the one variable that is making my decision making
difficult.”

“What’s that?” She asked, understanding his dilemma, “one variable? I don’t
understand.”

“You, I never accounted for falling in love with you.”

“Falling in love?” She whispered. “I’m…” She sighed. “That’s so sweet, and
I feel the same, but here’s the thing. This decision, taking the position,
is all on you.”

“I mean…ultimately yes…” He struggled with what to say.

Cerise drew a careful breath. “What I mean is this, yes I…us…is a factor in
your decision, but it can’t be the major one.”

“No, I know. But I do value your input and I just want to be upfront.”

“I know.” She said, reaching out and holding his hand.

“I just don’t want this to be a surprise one way or the other. Or for you
to feel like you have to stay with me because somehow you thought I stayed
for you. If I stay or go, it will be for me. But I do want to bring you on
as an advisor on what I should do..” he said with a soft smile.

“That’s fair.” She said gently. “Here’s the thing babe, and…I don’t want to
talk about me, but since it came up right?”

“Fair is fair.” He replied

“For the first time in my life, I’m happy in everything I am, but…I get my
opinion is valuable, but…I’m scared. I wish I’d pushed you away, for you. I
almost wish that you weren’t a part of my life then you could be happy, and
I know that sounds stupid.”

“But don’t you get it. My life would be lesser for not having had you in
it. Sure, I don’t know what the endgame is. We could breakup next week
because of I don’t know, maybe I say something stupid. Who knows. All I
know is even then, my life is better for having you in it, no matter how
brief, and I feel like I’ve become more myself, more open, more who I want
to be, and that is related to the fact you’ve taught me to trust in myself
and that I am more than just an academic or an engineer. Don’t you dare
wish that away from me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, I guess i’m still getting used to people wanting me
around. It’s strange.” she motioned for him to sit, then sat on his lap,
her legs extended on the couch. “It’s a hard decision whatever.”

“Nothing worth having is easy. And in my heart I know that what we share is
worth having.”

“I know. I can’t explain how much you’ve done for me. I mean, I know that
you know the things that you've done, but beyond that you’ve taught me how
to be a complete person again, to live, love, to fall in love, and you’re
right, what we share is worth having.”

"Agreed."

“So, let’s flip it around.” She paused for thought. “What do you do if you
turn the offer down?”

"I stay here, work hard. See where my experience here takes me. Maybe get
my own engine room someday."

“I’m certain that you will. You’re a great Engineer, whatever you do you’ll
excel at it.

"I think the teaching opportunity will present itself again. The question
is, al I  ready now."

“That’s something that only you can answer, For myself, would I be sad to
leave here? Yes, I would, heartbroken perhaps, but if it’s the way that's
right for us, that’s what we do. You’ve taught me that I have things to
offer, I love my job and I’m good at it, but I’m not completely beholden to
it here.”

"Truth be told, I'm not going to figure everything out right now. But I did
need you to know."

“I know.” She hugged him. “And thank you for that.”

"Sp how about we pause the life changing decisions making and get lunch."

Cerise nodded. “That is a great idea, I’m feeling a loaded jacket coming
on. Shall we?” She motioned in what she considered was the vague direction
of the nine and dine.

(Reply none)

(Posted by Will and Mark)
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