EXETERRPG: (1 - 2145) FO Cmdr Ailynn Bracken and 9D Manager Caity DuBois

[Mark Howard]

Nrpg: minor trigger warning, this contains a description of Ailynns descent
into addiction. Nothing lurid, but just a heads up if you're sensitive in
that manner.

Mission: Auld Lang Syne

Day:01

Stardate: 2445.12.28



(Risa– Suraya Bay Resort, - FO Cmdr Ailynn Bracken and 9D Manager Caity
DuBois- 2145)

Ailynn slipped her hand into the crook of Caity’s elbow as they smiled a
thanks to the waitress, Ailynn leaving a few coins in a tip.

"Ladies, enjoy the rest of your evening. The meal was to your
satisfaction?" The maitre d asked as they left.

Ailynn nodded "the lamb was divine, thank you"

She pulled a fine shawl out of her bag, she'd picked it up in case it grew
cooler after dusk, and offered it to Caity as they walked. "Warm enough
honey?"

"I'm fine." Caity could tell that there was something on her mind but her
years as a barkeep had taught her not to push. So they walked, arm in arm.

Ailynn led them slowly toward a small pier that offered tremendous views of
the sunset over the bay. "I've heard this is quite the place for views,"
She said, as they reached the end of the pier. Ailynn slipped off her shoes
and wiggled her toes.

Caity giggled,  "Not one for shoes are you?"

"Hate the things. Four inch heels puts me up to 6'6. Not dainty at all. You
have heels and I'm still taller. She smiled. "It's good that it isn't a
deal breaker. I've known people where it would be."

"So, why here…. Why now?"

Ailynn smiled, and pulled her gently into a hug, feeling Caity's warm hands
on her back through the luxuriant silk of her dress. "Views...and a talk."

"And there it is. I can read you like a boom, young lady. So talk." Caity
said, fixing her with a look.

"Maybe," She sighed, releasing her and resting on the rail. "You remember
when you told me of your loss? It's time to tell you about my troubles, and
I'm not presuming, but it isn't fair on you for me to let this evening
progress and me keep something from you that could change your mind about
things, and me." She spoke gently.

Caity sighed, knowing that this was going some place that she had already
been. Some placed she had lived and the question entered her mind, ~do I
want to go there again?~

Hearing the sigh, Ailynn stopped talking, standing for a few minutes in
silence, wondering if she should start again, or if she should just swallow
the pain, and just call it a day. Ailynn could feel her own barriers being
quickly thrown back up, defenses against her own pain. She knew that the
one person that she was shutting out, was the one person that she wanted to
open up to.

Caity looked at her, knowing that she didn't want to say something and just
watched her for a moment. The pain on her face was obvious, "What's wrong?"

“I’m cold.” She said, “and don’t feel great. We can talk another time.” Her
voice full of the pain she now felt she couldn’t express.

"Okay, no. That doesn’t work for me." Caity said, turning to look at her.
"Can I make an observation?"

“Of course.” Ailynn murmured, “dammit Caity I love you you don’t need
‘permission to speak’”

"I… apologise for the sigh. I just.. I can see this whatever it is Is
written all over you. Ever since I told you about Sara.. it's like there
has been a barrier. A wall that you don't want to pull down. So,
observationally speaking, I'm stood here, in love with you and you need to
talk. So talk. I'm not going anywhere."

“Caity...this isn’t exactly what you may think.” she sighed. “You may think
it’s because of what you told me about Sara, and...it sort of is, but not
because I’m judging you, or her, but…”

"But?"

“Caity, I was her...I was an addict, I suppose I’ll always have that
millstone around my neck.” tears had erupted from her eyes, the relief of
releasing her pain, tearing apart her dams.

Pulling her close, Caity wrapped her arms around her and just held her
close. Not saying anything, not wanting or needing to, she just held her.
Stroking her hair gently as she held her.

“Thank you.” She managed. Ailynn dabbed her eyes and gently pulled away
gently, but held Caity’s hand. “It started after school but before the
first year of the academy. I was doing so much extra, work got on top of
me. I just needed a bit more time each day. So Caffeine stopped working,
eventually I hit the Bennies. Then after a while, I needed a couple at a
time, then I stopped sleeping, so needed downers to sleep. Then the party
chems happened. I hit rock bottom so quickly. You have no…” she smiled
sadly, "of course you do. It was so easy to fall into, and hard to get out,
I knew what I was doing was soooo bad.”

Knowing that this was something she needed to say, even though it pained
her to stay quiet, Caity did. ~let her talk~

“Then there was a new thing, it was made on a ship in the neutral zone, a
new thing called Hex. bad batch hit earth. I overdosed, big time. It was
only because mum had found out that I survived. Hit rehab straight away.
Clean since.”

The pain of knowing that the woman she loved had been where her sister had
been was tugging at Caity’s heart.

“Caity...I am deeply in love with you, and it has caused me pain holding
this back. I wanted to tell you so much sooner, certainly before now, but
then you told me about Sara, and I was so ashamed of myself, of my failure,
ashamed of my shame, that the barriers that I’d let down came back up
again.” Tears still escaped her eyes. “I was so scared that you’d see me as
a burden, that…”

"That I'd hate you?"

“Yeah, pretty much. I’m sorry.”

"Okay." She responded

Ailynn looked at Caity, “Please hold me?" She asked, a gentle, sad, shy
look on her face.

"One condition. "

Ailynn nodded silently, a tear still running down her cheek. Eventually she
was able to whisper. "Anything."

"Don't ever go there again. I can't lose another to that. Not again."

"Believe me baby." She said quietly, "that was all a long time ago, a
different me."

"Can you promise me that you will always be open with me? "

She nodded. "I promise, if there's something you promise."

"Of course."

"That you understand what sacrifice you're making by being with me, I can't
tell you where my career is going, but I won't turn away from the danger, I
need you to promise that you understand me? That I'm not just a trophy? And
that you truly love the neurotic mess that I am, not the rank, or position
I may hold."

"If I loved the rank, the Ash would have problems." She replied with a
wink. "I love you."

"I know." She said happily, slipping her arms around Caity's waist.

"So, now that is out in the open, what next? I could go for a vat of ice
cream the size of that bath tub in the condo."

"Mmmm." Ailynn said appreciatively. She then looked deeply in Caity’s eyes.
"Caity?"

"You haven't filled the tub, have you?"

She leant forward and whispered into her ear.

"Oh…. " She grinned and kissed her.

(Reply none)

(Posted by Mark and Jackie)
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