EXETERRPG: (1 - 2055) MS - CSO Lt Erin Cortez

[Jaclyn Smith]

Mission: Auld Lang Syne

Day:01



Stardate: 2445.12.28



( Risa – Suraya Bay Resort – Beach – CSO Lt Erin Cortez  - 2055)



After Jimmy had left her on the beach, Erin had spent the last half an hour
sitting on the sand, her thoughts were all over the place. She knew that
there was something about him that drew her in and some that annoyed her
but it was the later that was occupying her thoughts.



~What he said, he brought up that part of my past that i regret. Yes, i
chose to go a route to try and deal with what i was going through that was
not the correct way. But surely, we all make mistakes? I mean, i know that
he was right in the same vein. When i said that that part of me was not who
i was now, he was right to say that it was. It always will be. Am i
bothered about that? Yes. Because i know that i went the wrong way.



However, that he brought that up just goes to show that i can’t hide away
from it. That Erin is a part of me and always will be. Is it who i am now?
No. I was a kid back then. I tried to find the easy way out and that wasn’t
right. Now, the question that is bothering me really is why am i sat here,
in the sand, wondering what the hell do i do? Why is he getting to me so
much? The past is the past. It always will be a part of me and i recognise
it now. I’ve figured it out now. I don’t need the quick fixes. I don’t need
to be the weird one, the one that tries to use anything and everything to
deal with what is going on.



I need what i already have. My work, my friends…..~ Erin took a deep breath
in as she realised something. Rubbing her head a little, she sighed, ~I’m
an idiot. I am such an idiot. I know what my problem is. I worked my whole
life just to get right, just to be me and now i get it. I realise now.
Everything i need is on the ground. I need to share, to be more open. I
need to let him in. With Billy, i wasn’t ready. Wasn’t ready to be that
open with someone, to share the pain and the struggle. With Jimmy, i can do
that. I can be that open. I need to do that because… oh… oh no… i get it…
damn it. He said it…. I … i’ve fallen for him. And now, i need to tell him
that.



I get that he wants to protect his son, that is something i would never
push. I need to just take time. Take it easy and just show him that i want
to be with him. Damn that man. He can read me like a book. Erin, you are
such an idiot sometimes. You have everything right here and now. Everything
you need is on the ground.~



Standing up and rubbing the sand from her clothes, Erin smiled to herself.
“Well, all i can do is say it to him now.”



(Reply None)

(Posted by Jackie)
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