EXETERRPG: (3 - 1303) MS - CO Captain Trip Williams & CSO Lt JG Erin Cortez

[Jaclyn Smith]

Mission: Murder on the Exeter Express

Day: 3

Stardate: 2445.12.03



(USS Exeter – Sickbay– CO, Captain Trip Williams and CSO Lt Jg Erin Cortez
– 1303)



“Sir, permission to speak freely?”



“Go ahead.”



“I’ll talk to the counsellor. I’ll give my report to anyone. I …. Just not
Ravok. Not yet.”



“Lieutenant, I know he’s hurting, but he’s a professional and he needs that
info for his report.”



Taking a breath, Erin closed her eyes. “It’s my fault, Sir.”



“What’s your fault?”



“It’s my fault that Nesha is dead and i just can’t … What i need to say to
him, i need to do that in private. I can’t do it yet…”



“Cortez, you’re both professionals. Request denied. The longer you wait,
the harder it will be. You don’t have to say you’re sorry, but you will
give Ravok your statement.”



"Professionals, yes. I know that Sir." Erin coughed gently and then looked
at Trip, "I'm just… I don't know how to say it to him."



"Start with an I'm sorry and tell him the truth."



She nodded, knowing that he was right. She also knew that avoidance
something she had always done and needed to force herself not to go down
that road again.



"The hardest tasks often have the simplest solutions."



"Telling someone that your choice lead to the death of someone they cared
about… not exactly a simple thing is it?"



"Cortez, I've led hundreds of people into battle. I've than written to more
next of kin then I'd like. In a crisis our actions orders sadly will get
people killed. Did you pull the trigger? Were you negligent? Did you think
you were doing the right thing?"



"I think so. No matter what we did, she would have done it anyway."



"Ravok and I are… we didn't have the comfort of a lab or office. We cut our
teeth as pilots, as soldiers. He understands."



She nodded. "It's just, Nesha was like a sister to me. Ravok, he's my
brother. I should really stop blaming myself for things I have no control
over." Adjusting her position slightly in the bed, she sighed, "I'm not the
best department head am I?"



"Cortez, you'll grow into it in time. But you're a sensitive soul. Bring it
up in counseling. But maybe, given the emotions I'm reading from you, but
maybe a gig on Mars might be more your scene."



"Mars… what makes you… You know don't you?"



"If you're referring to my cousin yes. But that's not what I meant."



"What did you mean?"



"Being a member of a Starships senior staff has a certain level of
responsibility and need to face ramifications of our choice. If you can't
face that, with a man you know will forgive you implicitly, then perhaps a
posting with less danger is more appropriate. Mars is on the upswing. You
may get lost in the shuffle there, but might be better for your mental
health."



Erin closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them, looking directly at
Trip,



"Sir, I know what I did. I know what my actions cost. Facing the
ramifications of what I did is not the issue. I suppose I've always run
from the hard times. Tried to find a way to hide rather than face them.
This… this whole situation has shown me that." Pausing for a second, she
continued, " Jimmy called me out on that fact. I know what he would say if
he were here right now and he's right. I can't hide from this. It wouldn’t
do me any good and it isn't fair to Ravok either. My mental health aside, I
took this role because I need to prove to myself that I am not the woman in
my past. I am stronger than that."



"Look, I'm no counselor, but its ok if you're not. Everyone is trained to
believe they need to be super strong. But we're not all that super. It's ok
if this is as strong as you are. Own it. Own your weakness. Its better to
know your limit and own it admit you can't Always handle it than to say
you're stronger and always fall short."



"I can't run from this. You were right when you said that if I can't face
this with Ravok, a man who to all intents and purposes my brother then I
don’t deserve the rank and position you gave me. I know this isn't going to
be easy. Not at all. I run before. I ran to earth after dulon. I won't run
again."



"Go see the counsellor. Talk to them about this. Then go see Ravok. The
longer you wait, the harder it will be."



"Thankyou. And I know."



Trip nodded and then left sickbay.



Watching him leave,  Erin took a deep breath. She knew he was right and she
knew that she couldn’t run. This was something that she needed to face.



(Reply none)

(Posted by Jackie and will)
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